I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.
I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. <span style="margin:15px;...
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Neil Gaiman
Well my music was different in high school; I was singing about love–you know, things I don't care about anymore.
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Lady Gaga
I'm the girl nobody knows until she commits suicide. Then suddenly everyone had a class with her.
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Tom Leveen
The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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Tom Bodett
Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.
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George Carlin
More Quotes By Billy Connolly
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry... I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong'. Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.
I think I've discovered the secret of life -- you just hang around until you get used to it.